1) Talk Charge: tell your spouse about your dream when you wake up, share something cute from the cereal box during breakfast, phone mid-morning to see how their day is going, phone again mid-afternoon to say I love you. Look a…t your kids sleeping and talk about the miracle of their lives. (at least 5 times a day)
2) Super Talk Charge: 25 minute personal, intimate, or romantic communication. Life’s logistical issues are off limits. Reminisce about your courtship, share your feelings about anything, get to know each other again, have fun, laugh together, tell stories, share jokes. Recite a poem. (one per week)
3) Touch Charge: Positive, loving, physical contact. Groping does not count. Gentle hand touches, cheek brushes, etc. Small kisses, not looking for anything sexual. (3 times per day)
4) Date Night: once per week. Get out of the house. No entertainment that causes you to face the same direction. You’ll need to face each other. You are the entertainment. You need a couple of hours to really be together. Don’t invite anyone else, and don’t attend anything social. Date night is for you and your spouse only. Date night should be an evening. Get creative. (Jacuzzi Thursday – candles, wine and staring and talking)
5) Romantic Retreats (3 times per year) – 3 days and 2 nights, not about destination, it’s about you. We live in the staycation capital of the world. Inns, bed and breakfasts, prepare your own food,
6) Business Meeting: (once per week) – logistical matters, food shopping, budgeting, vacation planning, bill paying, cooking, cleaning, holiday planning and day to day agendas. Table these items for your business meeting.
7) Photo Opp: hire Emily to take pictures of you and your spouse. You can schedule a time for the family, but I am talking about the two of you. Put those photos up, office, wallet minimum.
Birthday Party (once per year) – pick a fine restaurant, hire a caterer, cook a gourmet meal. Decorate, make special signs. This year I rented a limo with a handful of people. One of the times I got it right.

Talk Charge – 5 minutes per day
Super Talk Charge – 25 minutes per week
Touch Charge – 3 times daily
Date Night – 2 hours per week
Romantic Retreat – 100 hours per year
Business Meeting – 45 minutes per week
Photo Opp – once per spouse
Birthday Party – once per year (5 hours)

8760 hours over the course of the year
2160 hours will go to work
302 hours to Making Love – 3% of your time

*adapted from Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel

Pre-marital counseling is a lot like the books you read BEFORE you have kids. The information can only take you so far.  Because all that is all it is, INFORMATION. The reality of marriage hits you hard.  You discover that its WORK. More work and harder work than you bargained for. And that’s just if you want to keep the rings on the finger. If you want to have a GREAT marriage, the kind that we all dream about…it takes more than just work.

We believe you need models and mentors. That’s why we’ve been compiling a list of guest bloggers that we consider “Marriage Champions”.  They have stories to share, wisdom to offer and hope for those who want to truly live out God’s best in marriage.  So get ready for our weekly Posts from the Pros.